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obtained through the practice of the simpler technique of Ujjayi Pranayama.
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After much experimenting which happened in the following years and considering also the reports of
some sincere friends who tried out different forms of Kriya Pranayama, I am sure that if I had
practiced Kriya in the way P.Y. taught during the thirties I would have obtained better results. That
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I had some problems which I will now discuss. (I have no doubt that these
problems could have been easily resolved if I had used common sense.)
The first exercise to be practiced was the Hong--Sau technique this had to last
10 to 15 minutes. The breathing was supposed to become more relaxed and
create a good state of concentration. Then, after putting the forearms on a
support, we were to listen to the internal Sounds, requiring about the same
amount of time. Then there would follow another interruption because of the
Maha Mudra. Eventually, setting back in a still and stiff position to restore the
feeling of sacredness, the Kriya Pranayama began with rigorous respect to all
the instructions. After Jyoti Mudra, the Kriya routine would be concluded with a
full ten-minute concentration on the Kutastha, to absorb the results of the whole
endeavor.
In my experience the two preliminary techniques did not receive the
attention they deserved, and the time devoted to the final concentration was too
short. During the Hong-Sau technique, the thought that I should interrupt it to
start the Om technique brought about a disturbing feeling, hampering my whole
surrender to its beauty. The same happened with the procedure of the Om
technique, interrupting it in order to practice Maha Mudra.
The technique of listening to Om was a complete "universe" in itself and led to
the mystic experience, which is why its interruption was something worse than a
simple disturbance. It was illogical, as if, recognizing a friend with joyous
surprise among a crowd one begins talking with him, then suddenly goes away
hoping to meet, quite by chance, that same friend again and get back to where
the conversation had previously ended.
The sound of Om was the mystic experience itself, the Goal I sought. Why
should I interrupt that sublime attunement to regain it through another technique?
Perhaps because Kriya Pranayama was a higher procedure? Higher? What on
earth does that mean?
I forced myself into such absurdity for an extremely long period. I hoped
for future clarification of such an unclear situation. At that time, the idea of using
my brain and radically changing the routine seemed to me an act of stupid
arrogance. Such was the power of that insanity which in our group was called
"loyalty"! I must acknowledge that unfortunately I had become like one of those
animals that, fed by man, tend to forget how to be self-sufficient.
When I tried to discuss this problem with other kriyabans, I noticed an enormous
and unreasonable resistance. There were those who were not satisfied with their
practice but planned to try it again in the future, while others were not able to
even understand what I was saying.
Talking with a lady who was a longtime friend of our family, she
pretended to listen attentively, but in the end bluntly declared she already had a
technique was/is indeed a masterpiece, far more beautiful than what certain schools now offer as
"original Kriya." If I had received it instead of the simplified version, I could have touched the sky
with one finger. Sometimes I bitterly ask myself: "Why did P.Y. yield to the temptation of simplifying
it"?
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Guru and did not need another. Her remark cut me deeply since my intention was
only to have a rational talk which could be inspiring for us both. Apart from this,
what sort of friendship can exist between two people when one is so curt?
To encounter such episodes one after the other confirmed my idea that, not
being encouraged to trust the validity of self-observation, many friends went on
mechanically performing what had often become an empty ritual simply to
appease their conscience. With the exception of one person (who harbored really
strange ideas about the spiritual path which made me entertain the thought that
he might be mentally unstable), these new kriyaban friends seemed to censor my
questioning of techniques, claiming that devotion was much more important.
Often they referred to concepts I could hardly link to the practice of Yoga, i.e. the
paramount importance was loyalty toward P.Y. and his organization.
While their effort in practicing the meditation techniques in a deep way
was not remarkable, they tried by external means (readings, devotional chanting,
convocations...) to extract from the depths of their psyche any trace of religious
attitude, any scrap of spiritual aspiration. They impregnated it with the natural
heart's affection for their Guru even if they had known him only from photos
thus obtaining the resolution of a lifelong commitment. Looking back at those
times, I wonder what their opinion was about my impatient attitude in contrast to
their passiveness. In my reasoning, I could not conceive of the idea of leaning
passively under the protection of a saint who solved all our problems. This
concept, together with others I had experienced in that school, was a cause of
real conflict. My approach to the spiritual path was so different from theirs that
there was no hope of reaching a point of contact or common ground.
My remembrance of a friend
I became acquainted with an elderly kriyaban, worthy of maximum respect and
admiration, who had begun the Kriya path many years before. We met each other
in the last years of his life. He was totally alone and I felt very bad when I could
not see him for months at a time, but for various reasons this was inevitable. We
always met for short and fleeting afternoons, walking and speaking quietly. I was
witness to an inexorable process that brought him to the point of living solely for
the memory of the warm rays of a glance and simple nod once received from the
woman who was head of the Kriya organization and the spiritual successor of
P.Y.. His dream was always to form a friendship with that divine being, whom
he felt was the epitome of perfection. I tried to convince him that to deify this
inspiring figure could constitute the death of his spiritual adventure. But my
companion seemed irretrievably spellbound by the idea of "transmission of
power". He explained that in all great mystical traditions the subtle vibrational
strength of the great Teachers of the past is still present in their descendants not
because of consanguinity, but through the transmission of their "power" as a non-
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