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orgasm.
I m sorry, sir, I said when I could breathe again. I m so sorry I came. But I wasn t really
sorry, even when he brought out the cane. He handed it to Davis.
Punish her, he told him. Not too hard, though. She s a hell of a fuck, and you can have
what s left of her when you re through.
Ever the obedient lackey, Davis started to cane me. It was the first time Matthew had
someone else join us, and while I d liked having Davis watch, I liked less having him join in. I
realized quickly how careful Matthew was, that I d never appreciated Matthew s finesse at
giving me pain. Davis beat me like a dog. I screamed each time his arm fell, and it only took five
excruciating blows for him to draw blood. Matthew stopped him then, taking the cane and
handing him a condom.
We can share her now, he said. You can use her cunt and I ll use her mouth. You saw
how she likes having all her holes filled.
I lay still, reeling as they discussed how to take me. I watched from some kind of
dissociative state as Davis picked up my legs and thrust deep into my still slippery pussy.
Matthew knelt with one thigh on either side of my head and jammed his cock deep down my
throat. They both fucked me, and I lay there like a good girl, like the good girl he d trained me to
be.
And as I lay there still and quiet, I thought, this, this is what he meant about using me. This
is what it really feels like to be used.
Chapter Eight: Shame
He pulled me upstairs afterward, showered me off under water that was barely warm. He
waited long enough for me to brush my teeth, brush the taste of his cum away, and then he
pushed me towards the bed.
He was furious. I didn t know why. I d done what he asked, even let Davis fuck me and
draw my blood. I didn t understand the scene that had just happened, and I felt I had no right to
make him explain. And honestly, I didn t want to know why he had wanted it. So I just lay
silently beside him, traumatized and numb.
Had he expected me to rebel against him, refuse to let Davis use me? There were so many
rules I didn t know or understand. I thought again of how it had felt, pinned by both men, used as
an abject receptacle. Shared. Abused. My mind whispered the word again and again. Abuse. Had
he crossed a line? Should I have stopped him? Could I have stopped him? I could have. But what
upset me the most was that he d wanted to share me and treat me so cruelly in the first place.
My mind raced, replaying the scene again and again in my mind, and then a small rebellion,
a tiny spark of rebellion began to grow. I could hear him breathing steadily beside me, feel the
bed shift under his weight. I thought of the quiet, calm way he d invited Davis to have me, the
cold way he d knelt over me and shoved his cock down my throat, and it suddenly seemed to me
that this was someone I should hate. I started to tremble from the horrible need to act, and then I
did act. I decided to leave.
Well, I decided, but I didn t just get up and do it, at least not right away. No, I started to
inch, millimeter by millimeter, to the edge of the bed. When I was far enough away from him
where I thought he wouldn t grab me, I lay the sheets back carefully and rolled onto my feet. I
got probably four feet away from him before he said to me, No. He said no, but it sounded
more like don t you dare. The ice in his voice was enough to freeze me. He put on his bedside
light and sat up, frowning at me, cool determination in his icy blue eyes.
You come now, Lucy, and you get right back into bed.
I was shaking so hard I thought my legs would give out, and I suddenly felt very naked,
more naked than I d been in my life. I wrapped my arms around my front, tried to cover myself
the exact way he d forbidden me to the very first day, and started to cry.
Stop it, he snapped, but I shook my head.
I can t, I bawled. I can t.
He crossed his arms over his chest. He didn t move or speak, because I think he realized that
if he pushed me any more right then, I would have snapped. And strangely enough, through all
this, I went nowhere. I just stood still there like a statue in front of him and continued to cry. I
didn t make any more effort to leave, nor did I return to his bed. I just stood. It seemed like I
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