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she left the house and took off running.
There was nothing like a good run to help her try and clear her head. She had a
membership at their social club s fitness center, but for some reason, Liza had never felt
comfortable there. It always seemed that the women were constantly measuring
themselves against one another. Eyeing each other s workout gear, making sure the
labels was designer.
Designer label-loving hussy that she admitted to being, Liza had a bit of a problem
with making sure she had the latest and greatest designs for something she was going
to sweat and funk out during the course of her workout.
Besides, being outside watching the scenery go by as she paced her run was more
fulfilling and exhilarating than any elliptical machine could ever be. It gave her a rush
of endorphins like no other.
As she ran, her thoughts traveled back to her marriage and her husband. She had
no idea where they d gone wrong.
Scratch that. Even to herself she couldn t lie.
She knew damn well where they d gone wrong. And while she didn t blame herself
for everything, she was honest enough to admit that the majority of the fault lay with
her.
When she and Greg had first gotten married, she was reticent in telling him about
what her life had been like growing up. She avoided thinking about it herself for the
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Pull My Hair
most part. Throughout their short engagement, she d always managed to avoid in-
depth talks about her childhood, choosing to gloss over the neglect and poverty.
Sure, he knew that she d grown up as an only child of a single parent and that times
had been hard. He also knew that her mother left for parts unknown soon after Liza
graduated high school and left for college. And as hard as it was for her best friend to
understand, Greg had never pressed her about information she didn t want to give. He
seemed to be okay with the fact that she rarely spoke of her life before she started
college. So, it had been relatively easy not to discuss those things she preferred stay in
the past.
The topic of her youth, her mother and the effect it had on her were topics that she
never spoke about. Not to anyone. It was a depressing time, she was over it; it didn t
define who she was now, so why talk about it?
She made it to the outside running track and took off running, top speed. Her fast
clip eventually slowed as her thoughts inevitable went to her mother. She hadn t
spoken to her in over five years. Not really talked.
She would get the occasional phone call once or twice a year at best. Her mother
would ask her for money, give her the address where to wire it and that was it. No
how are you honey, what s going on in your life? No, I miss you and what s going on
with your life . Nothing. Liza would try and engage her in conversation. Try her
damnedest to get her mother to talk about her life, nudge her into asking Liza about her
own.
But Edna never did. The only thing Edna wanted was the money. Once, Liza had
said no. It was the last time that she did. Her mother had then gone on a long diatribe
about what a selfish bitch she was.
Oh, I get it. You think your shit don t stink& is that it, Liza? Liza could all but
smell the taint of gin on her mother s breath long distance and steeled herself for her
verbal attack.
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Kimberly Kaye Terry
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see now. I raise you when nobody else would. Definitely not
that worthless father of yours who took one look at you and put his damn size eleven
feet to the concrete and got to steppin ! No, definitely not him, she said in a slightly
slurred voice. With barely a pause in breath she continued her tirade. I sacrifice, carry
your narrow ass in my stomach for nine long months. Try my best to raise you right,
feed and clothe you& and this& this is the thanks I get? When she paused to take a
breath, Liza quickly sought to end the diatribe before she really got into it.
Mom&
No& oh hell, no. Let me finish! I send you to that Catholic School so you can get a
good education. Better than what I had growing up and this is the thanks I get? Married
to that white man and now you think you re all that! Well, let me clear it up for you
Liza. Unless you have my shit don t stink perfume emitting out of your ass, you re no
better than anybody else!
You know what, Mom? Liza didn t know if she should laugh or cry at the utter
ridiculousness of what was a classic Edna speech. Perfume emitting out of her ass .
Classic, crazy Edna-isms. I have no problem giving you money, she began.
I don t need you to give me shit, Liza! If possible her voice had risen in octaves
beyond anything she d ever achieved. It had to be a record.
I m sorry. I know that you don t need me, Mom. I don t have a problem lending
you money.
Oh just forget it! I don t need anything from you! You re just like that selfish
bastard of a father of yours. Don t give a damn about anyone but yourself! She ended,
once again, in classic Edna style. Talking about a father Liza never met, much less
someone she could compare herself with and find lacking.
And once again the tables had turned. Liza found herself practically begging her
mother to take her money. Please, Mom. Give me the address and I ll wire the money,
she asked on a stifled sigh.
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Pull My Hair
Her mother had feigned reluctance before she eventually gave her the address. Liza
had then asked her where she was living and if her mother ever thought she d come
back to Stanton to visit. Edna had vaguely informed her that she d have to check it out,
see what was on her schedule before she d commit to anything.
Liza had no idea what could be so pressing on her mother s schedule that she
couldn t take the time out to come and visit her. Although her mother was always out
of money, she did work. She was a registered nurse and never found difficulties finding
a job as nursing was one of those professions that there seemed to always have
shortages.
She also made decent money as a nurse, whenever she worked. The lack of a job or
education wasn t Edna s problem. Her problem was her addiction to alcohol and anti-
depressants. It was a rare day that her mother wasn t either drunk or depressed. And
usually, she was both.
But, she was a functioning drunk for the most part, as it had become a normal part
of who she was. She was able to work some of the time, attend functions that were job
related. But because work wasn t steady, she and Liza had been on public assistance
throughout most of Liza s life as a child.
Her mother had never attended any functions as Liza was growing up. For that,
Liza had turned to Karina and her family. She could always rely on Karina s Big
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